Parlons de Sex

I talk about sex with my closest friends. The French talk to me about their sex lives after meeting me once (and sometimes straight away).

A topic I would be hard pressed to talk about with a stranger, comes out of their mouths without a second thought.

As an American prude, this behavior shocked me some, but as a woman of the 21st century, I enjoyed their openness towards a topic that is still a little bit off limits (especially with strangers) back home.

It was all fun and games, until they started asking me about my sex life with FBF. Sure, I’d be willing to share those details with my best friends, but FBF’s guy friends who I had had maybe 5 conversations with?

Not gonna happen.


Eiffel Tower Condom Art from Amsterdam.


This openness hit its peak one particular lunch with FBF’s family.

Back before I knew anybody very well and was still struggling with the language, FBF and La Soeur started teasing each other, much as brothers and sisters do.

Only this time, conversation turned towards things a little bit R rated. Somehow, they had ended up on the topic of penises (peni?) and their sometimes lack of straightness.

But they were not content to keep this conversation just amongst themselves. La Soeur turned to me and said, “Et alors celui de FBF? Il est tordu ou pas?” (And so FBF's? Is it crooked?).

Although she was simply teasing me (or so FBF claimed), I was mortified! I had no idea how to react to such a blatantly sexual question, right in front of his mother.

I like their frankness towards sex among peers, but parents-of-the-significant-other is taking it too far in my book.

Luckily FBF answered in the best possible way, “elle ne le saurait pas. On est encore vierge tous les deux!” (she wouldn’t know. We’re both still virgins!)