Naturellement Pulpeuse

The first time I went to the movies in France was when I studied abroad in Paris. Deciding we should be more Parisian and go to the ciné, one of my friends and I headed to the nearest theater with plenty of time to get lost, have translation misshaps, etc before the movie started.

We found our seats, the lights dimmed, and commercials started playing. The commercial that was on happened to be one of the weirdest commercials I’ve ever seen, and as such I was making comments and laughing about it with my friend.

A group of middle aged French woman seemed to think that this was unacceptable behavior, however, and they started shushing me.

I couldn’t imagine who would care about missing out on a commercial. It wasn’t even a movie trailer. It was an advertisement for a product.

I know better now. I know the reason I was shushed was not because we’re not supposed to talk during commercials before the movie. I was shushed because it was an Orangina commercial.

Orangina commercials consist of digitally rendered wild animals given human sex traits.

That’s right.

We’re talking about horses with boobs and long slender legs hanging out in underwear. Panthers with pecks and biceps.





The reason I was giggling and whispering to my friend some 4 years ago was because I was thoroughly creeped out by these animals personified in a sexual way.

The French find them to be hilarious. The past couple of times I’ve been in the theater and the sexualized Orangina animeoples have been on the screen, everybody was laughing and having a grand ol’ time.

Except for me. I am still terrified of them.


I get really uncomfortable watching this one...
Luckily for me and unluckily for the French, these creepy commercials seem to only be shown at the theater for I have yet to see one on TV. Hence why I was shushed so many years ago.