July 4, 2012

Dear friends and strangers,

I have been avoiding my blog because I have been avoiding dealing with my French life as it currently stands.

I don’t know how to tell funny anecdotal stories about France right now.

I no longer have a French boyfriend. I’m an American girl who moved to France, fell in love with a boy, grew disillusioned with the country but tried ever so hard to stay there despite being unhappy a lot of the time because she was in love, was unsuccessful and deported. An American girl who, despite moving back into the home she grew up in, felt like a foreigner for the better part of 4 months and is still readjusting to American culture. One who’s long distance relationship with a Frenchman lasted 6 months.

And now I’m on the precipice. I’ve been accepted into graduate programs in France, but I’m not sure I’m ready to jump off the cliff. It’s as if the adventurous spirit of the brave girl who moved to France in 2007 was beaten out of me by that country.

To go or to stay? I wish I knew.

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